Overwhelmed

Today I am feeling overwhelmed. I have so many questions and my mind was spinning yesterday at the doctor that I couldn't think of one question to ask. I was in shock that we made the decision to start the shots. We have been bombarded with huge decisions that have taken priority and we hadn't even talked much about what we were going to do. I knew that yesterday was the day I needed to decide something because of where I am at in my cycle. I could have decided to wait another month to decide but after sitting there in the doctors office, I had this overwhelming feeling that I would always wonder what if I didn't give these shots a chance. I know I am a little biased but Aiden is such a cute little boy that I know if we were to have another baby he or she would be just as cute and I needed to say that we did everything we could to have one more child that was ours! Not that if we did end up adopting that child wouldn't be ours but having another child with my husband just reminds me of our love and that although we are separate people having a child makes us one! I am excited, nervous, anxious, and scared. This is where my God comes in. He is bigger than me and knows all. He tells us that He knows the plans He has for us and they are not to harm us. Since I spend so much time worrying and thinking about it all, my doctor gave me the number to a therapist to contact to see if that might help me. I think between that, this blog, and really submitting myself to the will of God I can get through this.

I will start the shots on friday and I have to give them to myself. The only problem is...I HATE SHOTS!!!!! Todd and I both don't know how I am going to do it and he may have to be the one to give it to me! Its all for a good cause and I think I have gotten better about getting shots but giving them to myself is a different story! I am sure it will be fine but still a little nervous!

Dear Lord

Thank you so much for all the many blessings you have given to us. We are so thankful and ask that you forgive us if we sin against you in any of this. I know you are all mighty all powerful ruler of the universe and you know the plans you have for my life. May I be willing to let you lead and know that you are God. I pray for calmness and a stillness that only you can provide. I pray for a hedge around our family and that you would find favor with us and bless us with another child. You know the desires of my heart, yet I pray for your will to be done! In the mighty name of Jesus

Amen